Oaken Glow.

There might always be a way for people to exhibit themselves,and sometimes to outcast themselves. It always comes down to one thing,money. It is the source to make you or break you thoroughly.

While switching between few houses here and there,she always knew her dreams wouldn’t come true.She was completely befuddled to overcome the fact that she would no longer live in a manor,no longer have her Retriever along side,no longer have people rushing over to her and asking her about her vacations to Budapest or to her family house in French Riviera. She dreaded to not go to a school where people of her status went to. Vingne was the perfect example of what you call a rich brat.Vingne was born with a platinum spoon in her mouth,always had helpers to assist her in anything she needed.

Vingne was used to all luxuries in life and to fetch a beverage from her Meneghini Arredamenti Fridge on her own seemed like an insult to her.Such was an extent to her pride and freedom. Like how McManus stated,we don’t always get what we want. Her parents and Vingne herself ended up near the entrance of her gatehouse,having lost all their property due to sheer negligence,one fine day. They hadn’t got enough money to rent a flat so they ended up at their Aunt’s house for a few nights after which they were thrown out. Vingne’s father,a robust,charming man with striking features was known far and wide for this wealth. Now,no one seemed to bother.

She dreaded to live in an apartment,the one where her helpers lived,where her drivers and gardeners lived and where now she had to live. She no longer had her usual custom designed clothes,rather she had to wear cottons which were homespun.Vingne never in her living moment imagined herself helping her mother cooking broth soup as that was the only thing they could afford,after her father brought few dollars after working in a nearby farm. Vingne started facing difficulties,she did not dare to show her face on the streets,she always hid herself in her room.

Vingne could no longer get into an Ivy League like her rich friends could,she could no longer drive in her usual Pagani,she couldn’t do anything anymore.She cursed herself,she cursed the whole world for that awful situation of hers. Vingne was mad at the world,angry with her parents to put her in a flat which did not have proper rooms.

Slowly she got over it,she got over the fact that she was no longer rich. She herself never knew how,but she did. Vingne got over it in a few months and started going to her local church to study. She was very keen in helping her parents to earn money. Vingne cleaned toilets in the local cafeteria,she brewed tea for her parents,she cleaned her whole flat,she taught Sunday School in the church and started taking part in raising funds.

Slowly things had started to get better,nicer and worthier. Her usual irksome behavior was completely buried under the Oakwood forest. She started changing her feelings into words and would bury them under the Oak tree which stood near the place where she lived. Every day,a tiny piece of paper would be added deep beneath the Oak tree about the things she learnt,about the true lessons of life,and her experiences and problems she had overcome,as well.

It was only until a few days later that she completed her schooling and went off to study in a local community college and went as an apprentice to the company which disowned her father. With her steady mind and profound perspicacity,she rose to the chair of the CEO. She took over the company her father owned under her own name.

Vingne was now a happy woman.

She learnt to face the darkness in life. She learnt to break the door when it refused to get opened. Vingne learnt that it is only the world which differentiates the people based on their economical statuses. There is nothing as rich and poor,it is only that paper which has the face of your country’s president which determines your room in the society. If the green-colored piece of paper favors you,you’re likely to live in a manor and be showered with everything. If it doesn’t,then you only end up living in a small cottage and still have a pretty good life. It is you who gets to decide this. It is you who needs to scrutinize whether you want a paper to takeover you or you to takeover that piece of paper and prove to the world that money never defines you.

At the end of the day,we’re still people trying to find a place in this world. Vinge’s Oak tree proves it so.

-Sheeba.

Advertisements

A Broken Echo.

“Humans don’t break you,their memories do.”

The time,when you feel you are safe in comfort and solace in the world,something comes like a ball,a wrecking ball. It breaks you,shatters you until you’re no more. The feelings which emerge from beneath,to see how everybody just doubts you,everyday. How they misunderstand you all the time,how they don’t trust you.
You break down,emotionally and physically. You break down until all the adrenaline in your body is over.It kills to see how tiny little things can have a huge impact on your life,how they shape you and how they destruct you mercilessly. You are so drawn to closeness and sunshine that it kills to fall into the heap of darkness again. People label you,they talk behind your back but you still go on,like a recovering bud.

It kills to see how probably a month ago,you were living. You were living and not surviving like right now. Every wakeful moment of your day,once in a while you remember the awful thing that had happened.

Although a very tiny and useless things,it made an impact on you,a huge impact. It made you see the world with a different perspective. It reminds you how,you gave your thousand percent just to get nothing.

You still go on. You need to. It pains a lot,but you need to.
You need to snap out of the sadness and the depth of feeling you have for it. You still wait,wait for good things to happen.
You still wait,smiling once in a while when those memories come shining out from the morning-glory. All the good,sweet times. It just makes you smile,it makes you smile so hard on your stupidity. You laugh as if you never laughed before,you let out the suffocation you are feeling within and yet,we break down. To see,that you no longer are a part of their life,no longer anything to them. You just have their memories,their sweet,sweet memories.

Anticipated Ivory.

Waiting is one of the most painful acts on this planet,Earth. Even when you sit there waiting for every thing to happen,like magic. Nothing actually does,this is life;bear with it.
-Sheeba Moghal

You come home,tired and exhausted from day’s work. You come from your school,or from work or even from running errands,and you just throw away your belongings to sit peacefully,thinking out about what had happened on that particular day.
You take a bath,eat food which is to be cooked only by yourself because no one is there with you. You check your phone for  missed calls,previous day’s messages,your social networking sites with a ray of hope that someone in this world is going to message you,to mark your presence. You wait for the message but all they do is just see your message and not reply.
You then scroll down through your feed only to see happy people singing along,two close friends posing,new wedding Galleria,a small girl who has achieved her first award,a small baby welcomed by her parents and you wonder how everything and everybody is going on with their life just fine and here you are,waiting for good things to happen.
You realize how alone you are and you can do nothing about it. More than the personal form of communication like before,people prefer to talk via internet which makes this whole process quite sad and depressing.
Not everybody is going to be happy,but you will,one day.
You suddenly feel lonely in an odd way that you are not able to express it. You cry yourself to sleep how everybody around you is prone to perfection and you are just a mess;a mistake.
You cry yourself to sleep that nobody is this whole wide world is there for you and you bear it,you still do. You then wipe your tears and put on a brave face. That is who you are.
Everything happens for a reason,my friend. But mostly,it doesn’t.
You are not alone. These mere messages and awkward social activity that make you feel sad is nothing compared to the emotional,physical trauma bored by everybody else in this universe.
You feel life is unfair,but it isn’t.
Here it is,to all the people with hopeless hoping,people who feel unwanted,people who feel ignored,people don’t receive any messages,people who feel they are slowly sinking in,people who yearn to talk to their loved ones,people who want to have a perfectly good life,you are not alone.You are not vulnerable.
Although you are bearing with a lot of grief and problems of your own since a specified time,you will be bestowed with good days.
You will be happy and accomplished one day. You will be an immaculate person with a perfect life.
The moon disappears once in a while,it still returns with all it’s might casting light during the night to anybody who needs it. Once in a while it is half,once broken and once it disappears and yet,it comes back.
You are much like a moon.
You will be blessed with happiness that everybody would envy one day. But you will be fine.
Until then,good night,you beautiful human.

Entwined Birch.

“The people who were once the sole reason for you to rise high often subside themselves in the train of your life.
Sad how this goes on,isn’t it?”
-Sheeba.

Sometimes when people who were once the pillar of your sturdiness cut themselves out of your life and just dissipate ,like the ray of sunshine on a starry night.
How when you pass by,you don’t find anything but the ruins of the house you once breathed in with the neighborhood kids lurking around with sticks and stones to pass their dawn.
It is so soothing when one afternoon,far away from the roller-coaster of your thoughts,you are just seated in that vicinity of your ruined,old house and you remember all the good things that happened to you. How everybody were around you so often and now there is no one but your handbag and a pair of shoes to support you. You just remember all the good memories and you just want to give up all the bad days,just for a few good days of being free and unburdened with no decisions to be taken by yourselves. Everything has changed now,you are no longer the person you once were. Things have either become better or worse,but it doesn’t matter. You are bound with it.
When you are climbing the main step of your life,you have no one to cover your shadow,to stand behind you.
None of the people you once hoped to come all along to your death-bed,they are no longer beside you,to hold you when you break down. You have yourselves and those two beautiful people who created you.

Truth is,you are just not adapted to that sort of a change and you are crying your eyes out to not able to accept it. But you should,eventually.While going out,you’ll find someone congenial with whom you used to swim on a warm day or who hid with you inside of a fridge to protect yourselves from the evil demons. That one little kid you have seen all your life grow into someone so responsible and winsome. Everybody who were once a part of your life,a small one maybe,have grown into beautiful,responsible,immaculate young men and women are someone still residing on this planet Earth trying to do something while you are still stuck here with nothing but mere memories of everybody.
Seeing a small baby grow,witnessing changes in the world,seeing yourselves in the right direction ahead in the distant future. All these little things are a big part of your life.
You will be successful one day,like everyone else. You will be happy with someone.
All you have to do is,wait. Wait for it everyday. Try to make yourselves happy,even if you are alone.
Do not wait for oblivion to pass by.
You’ll be better,I promise.

Glistening Tidal.

These stars,they don’t communicate. They just shine,like the moon and the Sun or any other crusted galaxy. They don’t speak,only let you figure out.That is why they are called the stars,those tiny specs of light who change us. -Sheeba

Like how the stars were withheld due to gravity,it was possibly a reason,not an assumption.
Stars are these tiny specks of light which are a source of dissemination.
As they come into existence,they have a spark and a stance,to bring out the best in us.When you look up at the sky,you’d find the stars passing by. As a guidance,as a soul which never ceases to exist.These stars,that’s what they do.
A world full of hearts in a jar,there was no epitome of emotion that propelled people to hangout with humans unaware of their own age.Just like everyone else,you are gifted.Not with the ability of doing something well,but the flair of scrutinizing things around you Everything will fascinate you.
The Sun,extracting all the light of the night gave birth to these stars. Stars have no shape or size but they have a heart. A heart so huge and glistening,beating with all its might and sending out its electrifying vibes throughout the unalterable world.
Stars shape you. Stars break you. Stars burn you. Stars heal you.
These are just the holes to heaven,dragging you when you die. They push you with all their might to not give up.
Stars,so strong and so bright reflect the emotions within. They shine in vibrant colors each changing,blown by the breeze of the clock.
They redraw your borders when you are sulking inside the hole of self-doubt.
The way they creep out from the horizon just after the last glint of the sun’s heavy rays,makes you look like a Paladin of the Sun.So fervent with bundle loads of zeal.
But darling,you will be dead. One day,you will just be like the stars.
Learn to love everybody without the dominant bone hanging out in your body.
Only you will shine brighter than the world of Heaven. It is the only time when the star’s light themselves under the solace of strength. Your strength.

A Faded Fall.

Dear Stranger,
This time exactly two years ago,I received a phone call from you on the eve of my last pre-teen birthday. Things were so accurate and relatable then,but today I just see you passing away from me like there was never a story of joy between us.I had a rough start in terms of friendship. The first best friend I had made left me hanging on a tree and decided to hang on the trees of Kolkata. The second best friend that I had made pushed me out of the class like I was never her part of her life. As it when on,I felt alone. I had catrillion friends,but I was not a choice of anyone.
Then I met you. I started trusting people again,I trusted you more than Icarus loved the closeness of the sky.
One day,Icarus could not stand it any longer and tried flying too close to the sun. Sadly,he died.
Today I find you with another friend and my heart crumples to see you share your private jokes with someone else,the one that you always shared with me.
Everyday I try to check on you,to see that you are doing well. We might not be friends anymore,but you still are that congenial little girl I met few years ago. You might think I no longer care about us. Little did you know how every single day I endure this overwhelming grief knotting in my stomach. The books that once defined both us just lay there rotten under a pile of old books covered with dust. With the pages,even our friendship faded.
I do not know how to express this epitome of emotions. There were a lot of things left unsaid between us and as time flew by, most of these little were left unsaid that we barely spoke anything at all.
I miss you. I miss Us.
I do not know what to talk to you. Every single step reminds me of the time we climbed together. Every room that I pass by reminds me of the bizarre mistakes that we had committed.

I am not the person I was few years ago. I have changed. Situation has propelled me to change and I did. Next year,you will leave the school. Along with it,you’d burn all the memories we shared.
Mine would still lay afresh. I’m still there no matter where this never-ending breeze takes you.
It is funny how the people who were once together do not even know the meaning of togetherness anymore. It kills me whenever I see you walking away.
I cannot do anything. I cannot start it again. I have no strength in my veins to talk to you again.
All I want to say is,please do not stop befriending new people.
I was just a star in your universe,but you were my galaxy worth million stars. I’m merely a dot in your infinity but you are my never-ending paper of infinite memories.
Tomorrow,there would come a point in your life where you would not be a choice of anyone anymore.It would then remind you of that girl you spent your summer with.The girl you started your journey with but left her walking alone.
And even then,I am just a mile away. Call me and I would still come running to you.

Yours truly,
A Stranger’s Long Lost Friend.

Brave.Braver.Bravest.

“You were my sunshine,you were my darkness. You are not merely a star in this universe,you’re my glow of light inside of my heart.”
sheeba.moghal

She sat there,looking high up at the sky.
Sometimes when there is a raging storm,your mind is muddled up with eerie space. That was what she was experiencing.
That quirky little kid,who once went to school with that sunshine smile on her face turned out to be an ice-cold human, heartless if anyone could describe.Nobody knew what made her feel that way.’Depression.’ she said but no one ever believed. She was thought to gain attention from everyone where all she wanted was to run away from it.
Among a crowd of two hundred people,she was never a choice of anyone.Neither first nor second. Just a mere aid to go to while in need. She was always muddled in thoughts which no one could fathom.
Addition of sadness,subtraction of hope,multiplication of self-doubt and division of happiness. Math reminded her of that.
When you are alone in this world,everyone consoles with a simple verbose statement of “Everything will be okay.”
They don’t just get the depth of feeling you’re sunk in.
As time passes,like everything has a saturation point,even she did.
She burst out,burst out like a volcano when it couldn’t take in anymore magma. That was it.
Frustration.Anger.Self-doubt.
Almost every unnerving emotion seemed to stab her to such an extent that she just couldn’t hold it back anymore.
She tried hurting herself,her soul. She was alive,physically.But dead mentally.
This is what happens when you’re in a vicinity of taking in everything. Life is just so stubborn that it never listens to us. It is so annoying,mostly.
Had it not been for her parents and a hope for a better life,her ruins would be sown deep inside of the soil.

She was not herself. She turned out to be someone new.
Her anger was controlled and she starting standing up for herself. A girl who was once succumbed to self-doubt started becoming brave.
She concentrated on what was important to her. Things which were unimportant were burnt to ashes.
Time and again people said that you get everything in this world if you wish to. But no one said that you need a person to push you forward. A cycle needs a chain to move forward which is your determination but you also need two wheels so that it can move forward. That is who your friends and family are. No one in this sane world would put their neck into problem but you know who does? Your family and friends.
Your family is the probably the only group of people who support you,despite your insecurities.
They push you forward no matter how backward you are soaring.

Even if her family and friends were not there for her,she was there for herself and that mattered her the most.